- Now, in addition to all the museums
And art galleries and other great stuff
Here in our nation's capital,
There's one thing you're gonna love
Probably more than anything else--
The dinosaurs.
[children cheering]
This way. Stick together.
- Agent Bering? Hi, Chet Greenfield.
- Hello. - Sorry I'm late.
- No problem. - My assistant said
You double-checked everything yesterday.
- I did, but I'd like to run a full review
Before we lock it down.
- Sure.
- With you. - Me?
- You're the boss.
I'd like to avoid any chain-of-command confusion.
I tell you, and it gets done.
Shall we start in the main hall?
- Well, I understand, but I'm pretty booked up at the moment.
- I apologize for the inconvenience.
- I'll clear my schedule.
- I'd appreciate it.
[siren in distance]
- Good morning, kacey.
- I just figured out who you are.
You're a fireman.
No.
Come on.
You know absolutely everything about me.
- Well, that's because you talk a lot.
[tool clatters]
- [sighs]
- Gordon, this is Agent Bering with the secret service.
- Gordon letanik? And what's, um, what's this?
- Uh, an aztec blood stone.
The boss of virgin sacrifices.
Handsome devil.
I'm just cleaning him for the reception tonight.
- Agent Bering wants the group d artifacts
Moved to the west wall.
- They're blocking an exit.
- Lose tuvalu and malta.
Move britain to the back.
If it still doesn't fit, see me and we'll cut something else.
- Yes, sir. I'll just, uh, finish up.
- What's next?
- The main floor bathrooms.
I'll need the plumbing pulled again.
- Ow! Uhh!
Uhh!
- I would try to sneak you in,
But the secret service will be there,
And they can be jerks.
- So I've heard.
Call you soon.
- You promise?
- Promise.
Bye now.
- Champagne?
- Thank you.
- Champagne?
Cham--
- Status check on eagle.
Who's on emerald entrance?
- Me. Morris.
- Why aren't you at emerald?
- Uh, well, because I'm here.
How's home base?
- We're calling home base "magenta."
- Well, I'm not.
You changed the protocol.
- I tweaked it. - I wrote it.
And I didn't use colors.
- Why weren't you at my briefing?
- I was vetting one of the servers.
- Screwing off is more like it.
- Well, you say po-tah-to.
- Get back to emerald. - You're not my superior.
- Dickinson gave this to me. I'm running it.
- Meeka. - Myka.
- Myka? - Myka.
- Mm-hmm.
- I get vibes.
- Sorry?
- This isn't some run and gun
That you're used to in denver.
- Get to the point, Lattimer.
- Dickinson gave you this shindig with my protocol
Because my specialty is logistics, framing--
And I kid you not, there is something really off in here.
- Eagle at magenta.
Mr. President, wait a moment, please.
- This is Bering. Eagle is free to enter.
- Negative, negative. This is Lattimer.
Hold eagle at five until further, copy?
- Copy that. Holding eagle.
- Get back to emerald.
- Look, Myka,
Why don't you pull your head our of your magenta
And feel the room.
Something's off.
- Listen, showboat. Nothing's off.
The room is fine. Everything is fine.
Now take your vibe and go.
- Enjoy your party. - I will.
I want a perimeter check asap.
[siren]
- Emerald clear.
- Peach clear.
- Orange clear.
- Gold clear.
- Crimson clear.
[bell dings]
- [laughs lightly]
[clears throat]
There's...
There's blood, so...
- Pete? What are you doing here?
- Working.
- [gasps] is there a fire?
- Hmm.
- Excuse me, sir. Wait just a second.
- Uh, uh, sec--secret service. This is--gotta go.
Excuse me! Excuse me!
- That's an okay for eagle to enter.
- Affirmative.
- Clear eagle.
[all screaming]
Freeze!
[thud]
Drop the knife.
[groans]
Hold your fire!
Seriously, Gordon, drop the knife.
- Drop that.
Whatever it is.
- Can't do that, Pete.
- Aah!
[growls]
Aah!
- Weapon.
We're done here.
- Hey!
- [screaming]
- [breathing heavily]
[exhales]
[indistinct police dispatch]
Tell me you found the guy.
- The guy who you said stole the rock?
We're gonna need a sample.
- Come on, dickinson.
- Well, you said, among many strange things,
That the rock was bleeding.
- It was.
- Well, taxpayers will probably want to know
If you were high, paranoid,
Or just part of an aztec art theft ring.
In the meantime, you're suspended, with pay,
For two weeks, till we get this thing worked out.
- What about morris?
- He says nothing happened at emerald.
Okay, can we--can we stop with the colors already?
[sighs]
Uh, what about, uh, the guy with the knife?
Uh-- - What, letanik?
- Yes. - He's in a coma.
Docs don't know why or how long that's gonna last.
- And Bering?
- Myka's being thanked personally
By the president and the first lady.
- [chuckles]
Of course she is.
- She's going places.
You, on the other hand, you're going to the bathroom.
- That's funny.
Ha ha.
[keys clank on table]
- Mr. Lattimer.
My name's Frederic.
- Frederic what?
- Mrs. Frederic.
- Well, that's a relief.
- I'm with the government.
I'm here on a matter of national security.
- What's that?
- An invitation to endless wonder.
- Okay, could you sound a little more creepy?
- Read it.
Please note the action code.
It is legitimate.
You're part of my bailiwick now. - Your bailiwick?
- You're working for me. - For you?
- Am I stuttering? - No, ma'am.
- [laughs]
Oh, okay.
[laughs] okay.
All right, I get it. I get it.
It's a--this is a joke, right?
Th--wh--dickinson put you guys up--
This is dickinson being funny, right?
- Do I look like a joke, Mr. Lattimer?
- No.
- You're to be in south dakota at those coordinates
At noon tomorrow.
You will mention our meeting
And your pending assignment to no one.
Is that understood?
- How long am I gonna be in south dakota?
- Indefinitely. - Indef--no, no, no, no, no.
No, lo--uh, look. I've got a life here.
- Really? - Yeah.
I've--I've got--
Things.
- Pack light, Mr. Lattimer.
We'll ship what you need and store the rest.
[door slams]
[electronic pop music]
♪
- [gps] prepare to turn right
In 100 feet.
Turn right now.
[tires squealing]
You have missed your turn. Go back.
Stop.
[tires squealing]
Turn right.
[electronic pop music continues]
♪
- [gps] destination straight ahead.
- You gotta be kidding me.
[cow moos]
- Yeah, endless wonder.
Hello!
It's Agent Lattimer!
I'm here!
[reverberating echo]
Hello!
- [laughs lightly]
Oh, great.
[cow moos]
- I heard you were suspended.
- Yeah, I heard that too.
- Why are you here?
- Uh, I was ordered here,
Uh, last night. Mrs. Frederic.
- Yes. - Yeah.
Said it was a matter of...
Both: National security.
- Right.
[rumbling]
[creaking]
[cow moos]
[hawk screeches]
- How are you guys doing?
Ah!
I'm sorry I'm late.
I, uh, had to fix the fish.
- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Stop right there. - What are you doing?
- This is the guy.
You know, the one from last night.
The guy who stole the rock. - You stole the rock.
- It's a blood stone. It's safe. It's inside the building.
- Yo, it's the property of the museum.
- And that museum is property of the u.S. Government,
And so is the Warehouse.
And so am I. I'm secret service.
I also work for Mrs. Frederic.
I'm dr. Nielson. You can call me Artie.
- Got some I.D.? - No.
We take the secret part seriously around here.
Oh, and I just wanted to thank you for your assist
In last night's retrieval.
That was very good.
- Hey, did you throw that football at me?
- Uh, you weren't here when I threw it.
It takes a while to circle back.
Come on. Come on inside.
I'll show you around. - Around what?
What am I doing here?
- I'll explain everything inside. Come on.
I made cookies.
- Ooh.
- Yeah. Come on.
Really, it's okay. Go inside.
Don't go far!
Okay. Come on in.
Wait for me at the bottom of the stairs.
Go, go, go. It's fine.
Don't touch anything.
Don't touch the bombs.
Hold this. Hold it.
[scanner blipping]
[beep]
Okay. All right.
Come on.
It's okay.
Right this way.
Ms. Bering, Mr. Lattimer,
Welcome to Warehouse 13.
I'm thrilled you're on the team.
- What team? What is this place?
- Officially, k-39 triple "z" on the north american grid.
But I like to think of it as america's attic.
- Pete, close the door.
[creaking]
- Tell me exactly what I'm doing here.
- Exactly? Well, that's a little dif--
Yeah, uh, well, to put it plainly,
Uh, you're both joining me as fellow gatherers
And protectors of secrets.
- Put it plainer.
- Uh, this, uh-- this Warehouse--
Well, look, the Warehouse needs you.
It needs--Pete, don't touch.
It needs your combined talents.
I mean, he's intuitive, and you're--
You've got a scrupulous eye for detail.
He's scattershot, you see, and you're meticulous.
You look, he leaps. - There's been a mistake.
I'm too valuable to be wasted here.
No offense.
- Of course not.
- Can I use your phone, please? - Mine?
It's, uh, broken.
- Well, I have to make a phone call, so--
- There's no signal here. - [sighs]
- Yeah, you're--you're-- you're--just pull--
Pull the door, and you'll be--now.
[chirps]
There you go.
- I think she had other plans.
- [sighs] so did I.
[sighs]
You want juice or are you a milk person?
- [laughs lightly]
[sighs] you know what I'd really like?
- Oh, I do indeed, but falling off the wagon
May not be the best option at this point.
- Uh--
- Milk it is. - Yeah.
That's Mrs. Frederic.
- Long time ago.
- She looks exactly the same.
- Odd, isn't it?
You don't want a cookie?
- Yeah. Okay.
So who are these guys? - Former colleagues.
- And--and where are they now?
- Well, um, this one and this one are dead.
This one, a mental institution in germany.
And this last one disappeared. One day I'll find him.
- Ted, these are two of my best agents.
How can you not know?
T--I'm looking at the order. You processed it.
How can you not know? [phone beeps]
Hold on. [beeps]
Dickinson. - Sir, it's Myka Bering.
- Myka?
- Sir, I have a little situation here.
I'm--I'm not sure--
- Yeah, yeah. You know what?
I'm looking at the transfer order right now.
The name on here is Frederic.
You're transferred to where? Where are you?
- Well, I'm in south dakota. - Where?
- South dakota.
- What are you doing in south dakota?
- You don't know about this? - No. Who is Frederic?
[static]
[tonal interference]
- Hello?
Sir? - Myka? Myka?
[tonal interference] Who's this Frederic?
- Sir! Yes, yes.
She handed me orders last night to come here
To a Warehouse in south dakota.
The order code was solid, and Lattimer's here too.
Look, I--I'm requesting an immediate stand down
And transfer back to d.C.
- Myka. Myka, I can't do that, okay?
This order trumps me.
Let me get on this, and I will get you back here asap.
- What should I do? - Follow orders.
Those orders, both of you.
- And how long will this take? [tonal interference]
Sir? Sir? Are you still there?
- Uh, that's a pile of crap.
- No kidding.
- No, I'm not kidding.
You're actually standing in a big pile of cow manure.
[cows mooing]
- Oatmeal scotchie?
- No. Thank you. I don't eat sugar.
- Oh, good for you.
[cows mooing]
- Listen, um... - [sighs, clears throat]
- Please don't think of this assignment, you know,
As some sort of punishment.
Can you hold this? - What?
- You know, yeah, your presence here
Is not really a reaction to what happened to you in denver.
So...
- I got a commendation for what happened in denver.
- Yes, you did. It's time for the nickel tour.
Come on.
- The order trumps dickinson?
- The first Warehouse 13 was built in '98.
- So we're stuck.
- Until he works out a transfer, yes.
- 1898. We didn't have a handle on how to, um, store stuff.
It burned down.
Some, um, remodeling and excavations were necessary
As the years went on to accommodate the arrival
Of more and more and more and more artifacts.
- What's stored here, exactly?
- Oh, this and that. Bric-a-brac.
Some things along the lines of, uh,
Heh! Last night's rock and roll.
I'm talking about the blood stone.
Both hands on the bar, please.
- I think I'll survive a crash.
- [laughs lightly]
- Yeah. Uh, no. That's not a safety bar.
It's a conduit. You and Pete are the power source.
Your combined electrical energy makes this thing move.
It's fine, it's fine.
Look, thomas edison built this automobile for henry ford
As a proof of concept, and it's perfectly safe.
Trust me.
Put your hands on the bar. Put your hands on the bar.
[sighs] Thank you.
We need both of you.
Hands on the bar, Myka. Thank you.
Edison, he wanted ford to let go of oil,
But ford, no, no, he stuck with it
Because it ruined his engines faster.
People had to keep buying them.
- What is that?
- What? Oh!
That is training flight 22.
We pulled that from the bermuda triangle.
The triangle's been trying to pull it back ever since.
[whooshing]
Duck and cover.
- Ow!
- Uhh! - It's harmless.
The inventory kicks up a little static
From time to time.
- Why are you grinning?
- Well, don't you think this stuff is kind of cool?
I mean...
- Wh--um...
- Where is he?
- I don't know.
Ah, he'll be back.
- Artie!
Hello?
- We should stick together.
Right this way, please. Pete.
Many of the items in here, kind of like the blood stone,
Pete, that you wrestled with last night,
The, uh, channel of tangential energy--
Well, tangential energy is kind of like the energy that,
Um, forced the museum employee last night into, uh,
Well, into almost committing murder.
- So how does that happen? - Yeah, you know,
We're not really exactly sure how.
It goes back to einstein, and "e" equals--
Yeah, okay.
Somehow the matter that is in here
Has just enough energy to move other matter.
You know, like you.
- Move me where? - Into trouble.
- Bunk.
- Is gravity bunk? Magnetism?
You know, these are mysterious forces
That we live with every day, but we can't explain 'em.
I mean, can you even explain to me how a radio works?
Huh? No. And you don't really care,
As long as you get the traffic report, right?
But if a radio landed in the hands of thomas jefferson,
You know what jefferson would do?
He would just lock it up
Until he figured out it wasn't gonna kill him.
And that is exactly what we do here.
We take the unexplained...
[loud bang] - [gasps]
- And we just safely tuck it away
In this super-sized pandora's box.
- Metaphorically speaking. - Well, actually,
Pandora's box is over in aisle 989-b.
Empty, of course.
[beeps]
Pete, uh, do the world a favor and clear your mind.
- Well, that should be easy.
- [laughs lightly]
[gasps] whoa!
Wow. Wha--
How did that get there? 'cause I--
I didn't pick that thing up.
- It still amazes me how that thing moves.
- What? What? What is it? - Don't talk,
Don't hope, don't wish for anything.
- That kettle grants wishes?
- Yes. Now Pete, look at me.
Just keep your eyes on me.
Okay.
- Open it.
- Pete! Pete, this-- this is, uh, neutralizer.
You can think of this as a fire extinguisher
For objects that act up.
Now look, I want you to come over here
And I want you to drop that very slowly, right in here.
Now listen, there are items around here,
If you were to put it in there,
They would generate a big flash, but this little thing
Will probably just be a little spark.
But you may flinch, and I don't want you to,
'cause you could drop it, okay?
- Well, I have a wish. - Don't!
- [gasps] - [squeaking]
- Aah! Ehh!
- What--?
[rumbling]
[whoosh]
[hiss]
- You wished for a ferret? - No.
That was already in the thing.
- I don't think so.
- You, uh, wished for a transfer, didn't you?
Oh, see, impossible wishes,
Wishes that can never be granted,
They produce a ferret.
Don't ask me why.
My first year here,
The whole place was crawling with ferrets.
[exhales]
- I swear, I didn't pick that thing up.
- No, I know, I know.
Not everybody is affected by everything. Here, okay?
You have to be metaphysically predisposed.
And the external energies, they have to be in alignment.
This is just a convergence thing.
- Right, sure, okay.
So we're--we're all converged here,
But I still have no idea what I'm supposed to do.
- What you're supposed to do is hunt down
Whatever is threatening to ruin the world's day
And neutralize it and bring it here.
You gotta snag it and bag it and tag it.
- This is crazy! This is crazy!
- Well, you know, I don't--
It could be, you know, crazy fun.
- Well, that's exactly the attitude
That brought you to our attention.
Do you guys want a cookie for the road?
- What road?
- Uh, there's rooms for you at Leena's bed and breakfast.
It's about seven miles down the road that way,
And I'll join you there in the morning
And I'll tou--well, I'll just join you there in the morning.
Stay close!
- Serious, Lattimer, there's been a serious screw-up.
I'm serious.
- And now you have a ferret. - What?
This town-- is this a town or what?
What's the name of it? - Well, it's more like a street.
- So it says here to turn left
At buffalo station.
- What? No, no, no. It's "buffalo statue."
- Well, your penmanship is atrocious.
- I don't need wisecr--you know, that's--you know,
Don't do that. - Can you finish a sentence?
A full thought?
- Uh, would you really like me to?
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no.
Don't--don't call dickinson.
He hates being pestered.
- I don't pester.
- Well, when he knows something, he'll call.
Clearly the phrase "rolling with the punches"
Is not in your vocabulary,
So may I make a suggestion?
- What might that be? Hmm?
- Unbunch your panties
And make the best of a bad situation.
- And how do I do that?
- Which part?
- You're a freak.
- Hello.
I'm Leena. You must be Pete and Myka.
Come in. I've got your rooms ready.
We serve three meals, 9:00, noon, and 5:00.
We've got radios in the rooms. No tvs.
No in-room phones, but there is one there
At the bottom of the stairs in the hallway.
You may choose any room.
- Is there anywhere I can get a drink?
I mean, a drink drink? - What would you like?
- Whiskey neat. - I can do that.
- Please do that.
- She hates traveling.
[door closes]
- She loves traveling.
It's the places she's traveled to
That's the problem
- Ah. [laughs]
- Can I get you anything?
- No, I'm--I'm fine. [laughs]
Yep, yep.
Just...
Uh, well, uh...
Just...
Is, uh... [clears throat]
Is everything okay?
- You're a lucky man, Pete.
- [laughs] I am?
- You're in tune.
Very rare.
- Mm, I don't know what that, uh, mea--look, Leena,
Are you--are you connected to Artie?
- Let me know if your bed is big enough for you.
- [exhales]
- [sighs]
[dialing number]
[buzzing and clatter]
- [sighs]
- [mocks quarterback calling]
[shattering glass]
- [sighs]
[drops onto bed]
- Hey, bunny.
- [breathing heavily]
[pulsing tone]
- How'd it go today?
- Not bad.
- Um, Lattimer seems interested.
And ms. Bering, not so much.
- Hmm. Did you select a case for them?
- Yeah, listen. Uh, I don't mean any disrespect,
But are we really sure that these are the people,
The right people? Because-- - Artie.
I'm fully aware of their baggage.
Now what's the real problem?
Artie, take yourself off the hook.
Their fate falls on me.
- You say that-- - Dickinson wants them back.
You've got to get them locked in.
- Can't sleep?
Yeah. Me neither.
We don't have to talk.
So, heh!
Do you always eat when you're stressed?
- Do you always talk this much?
- You know, no light from the city to get in the way.
Nothing but sky.
This time of the year, we get leo,
Cygnus, sagittarius.
- You know this how?
- My dad and I used to camp a lot.
- Where is he now?
- [sighs]
- Sorry.
- Yeah.
What about your folks?
- Colorado springs.
They own a bookstore called Bering and sons.
- How many brothers? - No brothers. Just me.
My dad thought the "and sons" sounded classier.
- Well, he must be proud of you.
- Mom is.
- Well, did protecting the president of the united states
Turn him around? - Yeah.
This won't.
From denver to d.C. To a Warehouse security guard
In six months.
Now there's a career trajectory.
- Look, about denver.
I didn't mean to spit on that last night.
What you did there was better than textbook.
- We're not discussing that.
Ever.
- All right, well, uh, I'm gonna go back upstairs
And not sleep some more.
- Hey.
Earlier, did you hear a...
- Hear what?
- [laughs]
Never mind.
- Dickinson will call.
- He better.
- Rotation, time,
Seever city.
Okay.
[scanning buzz]
Come on
[taps keyboard]
[beeps]
[beeping]
Come on.
So it's gonna be you, then.
Okay, cody thomas, a law school grad student,
Uh, at the university of southern iowa.
- Iowa? - Yeah, iowa.
Uh, his parents were killed in a plane crash.
He is a really good kid.
He's been putting himself through college
With the settlement.
- Why are we going to iowa?
- To find whatever it is that pushed this kid over the edge.
- What edge?
- He struck his girlfriend.
- That's it?
- So far.
Look, for the past five days.
I have been reviewing 11 possible cases,
Looking for whatever doesn't fit,
Something out of place, like blood on a marble floor
That leads to a man with a knife.
Because of a rock that isn't just a rock.
I've got a hunch that this is the one.
- What exactly are we looking for?
- Well, you tell me.
It's bigger than a breadbox... Or smaller.
If there is an artifact at the heart of this,
Then I've prepared a few questions for cody
That might reveal it.
Actually, it's more than a few questions, but--
- "do you have the constant feeling
That today is yesterday?" ooh!
- Okay. Yeah. See, uh, if they say yes, then we--
They probably won't say yes. It's unlikely.
But we could be dealing with time slip.
- Or a hangover. - Pssh!
- Hey, please take this seriously.
I had a run-in with a mayan calendar a few years ago,
And that question saved my life.
And the two agents that were with me
Were not quite so lucky.
- What happened to them?
- Their clocks...
Stopped.
- So, what? They died?
- Well, they'll wish they had in 100 years or so.
Anyway...
Neutralizer.
The purple stuff.
Uh, if you find the artifact,
Uh, just drown it in there, like this,
If you can.
And if it's too big, you just take this and throw it,
And then call me.
And don't ask me how it works, because I have no idea.
And it doesn't always work.
And don't ingest that stuff,
Because you'll...
See things.
And we'll stay in contact with these.
I have one just like it.
- Two-way video communication?
- I call it a farnsworth.
It's named after philo farnsworth,
Um, who invented that in 1929,
Right after he invented the television.
Isn't that remarkable?
I mean, anyway, if you want to talk to me,
Press that-- that button there.
- [laughs]
What is that?
- [laughs] nicola tesla,
Um, thomas edison's chief rival
Or nemesis, depending,
Um, he cooked this up as an alternative to bullets.
It's a--it's really a kind of electric stun gun, really.
It's a polyphase ass-kicker.
- [laughs] oh, now, that's--
- Yeah. Just, uh, here.
Just don't put it past two to begin with.
That's the trigger, right there.
You should practice with it first.
One blast and down you go. [laughs]
- [whistles]
- Hey, don't-- don't point that at me.
Keep your finger away from the trigger.
- Just don't. Sto-- - Uh-uh-uh-uh.
- Give him the gun.
- Oh, and also, it zaps short-term memory,
Which is why agent morris doesn't remember seeing me
At the museum.
And that's it. [case slams shut]
[clears throat]
- That's what?
- Go to iowa. Talk to cody.
Find the artifact, if it exists.
Neutralize it and bring it back.
Oh, and don't get killed.
[sighs]
How's her aura?
- Tortured.
Guilt and grief, mostly.
She has a soft spot for the ferret, though.
- Uhh! - Just like you.
- Now that was a long time ago.
- You haven't changed that much.
She had a stowaway.
I found this in her room.
- Oh, lord, that's houdini's wallet.
Fingers! - Okay.
[electronic tone]
- That was a bad spike.
That landed on something with her.
I requisitioned mesh screens for those shelves ten years ago.
- And every year since.
- I've told you this. - A few times.
- You'd think Mrs. Frederic could maybe get that done.
- Don't look at me.
[snaps case shut]
- Well, I had the fbi in here a while ago
On a suspected terrorist thing.
All egos out to here and all looking
Like they're wearing daddy's suit.
- [laughs]
Yeah, well, we feel the same way.
Well, just let me know if this thing's going federal
So I can get my staff prepared for the media.
- It's not going federal.
We just have a few questions and then we're gone.
[phone rings]
It's dickinson.
- Oh. We'll just be a sec.
- Yeah, this is Bering.
- Myka, how you doing?
- Well, we're in iowa now, on assignment.
Any luck in getting us back?
- The bad news is not so far.
The good news is, I've got a line on this Frederic woman.
She worked for the treasury department in the 1950s,
And after that-- - Well, it's not the same woman.
The woman we met was younger.
- I've got a Frederic
In charge of some sort of secret sandbox.
It's being funded from a black ops budget
I'm still trying to source. - Well, I can fill you in.
- No, no, no. These lines aren't secure.
Listen to me.
I'm doing everything I can to get you and Pete back here.
48 hours, tops.
So just follow your current orders
And keep your head down.
- Wait, sir!
[static and distortion] Sir.
- So how'd he sound?
- 48 hours.
- Yeah, but how'd he sound?
- Not good.
- What kind of questions?
- Well, they're sort of diagnostic.
- Diagnostic. What, like I'm sick?
You're secret service doctors?
- No.
Question one.
"have you recently encountered something
That you feel has affected your life?"
- Something like what?
- An object of some kind.
- Do handcuffs count?
- No. Question number two.
"while looking up, do you have the sensation of falling?"
- Cody?
- No. I don't feel like I'm falling.
Next question.
- Okay, question number three.
"have you recently smelled something
"that could best be described as fudge
When there is no fudge?"
- Fudge? Is that--
- Question four, "do you ever feel like this might be
A colossal waste of time?"
- Okay, let's--eh, okay.
We're done with those questions...
- Yes. - Cody.
What do you think happened with your girlfriend?
Uh, what's her name?
- I don't know. - Emily.
- I don't know.
I don't remember.
I was in class, talking to the professor
About some mock trial thing.
Then I woke up here,
And they told me I beat emily up.
- Have they let you see a doctor?
- Yep. Says I'm fine.
- And no--you know, no alcohol or drugs?
- No, I swear.
- No history of blackouts? - No! This isn't me.
I would never hurt emily. This isn't me.
This isn't--
- Cody.
- se li uomini sapessino le cagioni
della paura mia, capir potrebbero il mio dolor.
[shivering]
[rattling, bell rings]
se li uomini sapessino le cagioni
della paura mia, capir potrebbero il mio dolor.
[creaking]
- Myka!
[crash]
[Myka groans]
- se li uomini sapessino le cagioni
della paura mia, cap-- uhh!
- Get him out of here!
- Let's get him down to secure lockup.
- Well, that was scary.
- Can you come this way, son?
- Hello. I'm lorna soliday.
I'm cody's lawyer.
- And did travis call you?
- Sheriff travis respects the law,
And he doesn't like being railroaded by federal agents.
- Are you that hands-on with all your clients?
- No, just my godson.
- Ah, so you knew his parents. - Very well.
And neither cody nor I will be answering any more questions
Until I know what this is about.
- We're interested in cody's behavior.
- His violent behavior.
- As in, where's it coming from?
- What is this?
Someone pegged him as a threat to the president?
- Not yet. - Not ever. That's not cody.
- Well, it was cody that just destroyed that table in there.
- Not to mention what he did to his girlfriend.
- Does the secret service
Investigate every case of battery
Among college students?
- Nope. Just this one.
So where'd the italian come in?
- What do you mean? - He spoke italian in there,
Just before he decided that the interview was over.
- I don't know anything about that.
- Well, has cody come into contact
With anything unusual, say, in the past few days?
- Yes. You two.
- That was a serious question.
- That was a serious answer.
Any more questions, sheriff travis has my number.
- You felt that, right?
- I'm not sure what you mean.
- It got hot.
- Yeah?
- But you knew to get me to the floor
Before he freaked out.
- [sighs]
The vibe.
- Right.
Okay, so how do those things work?
Is there false alarms or--
- It happens all the time.
- So why do you trust them?
- Well, one time I didn't, and I should have.
[pulsing tone]
[louder pulsing tone]
- You're right. It's italian, sort of.
I mean, this is either part gibberish.
I don't know. It's some kind of code, maybe.
And my software can barely translate any of this.
I mean, "dolor" means "pain."
Yeah. And a text search came up with nothing.
There's no films, no books, no plays,
No songs, no poems.
- Okay, so what now?
- Well, you're right beside a college campus.
You can go find somebody who speaks italian.
- Hey. Artie. Hello? Hello?
- Excuse me.
[knocks] - Professor marzotto?
- Yes?
- Uh, we're with the secret service.
- Oh, my.
- se li uomini sapessino le cagioni
della paura mia, capir potrebbero il mio dolor.
se li uomini sapessino le cagioni
della paura mia, capir potrebbero il mio dolor.
- It's an old construction. 15th century.
It's not working-class italian either.
This is high brow.
- So what's he saying? - Roughly?
"if people knew the reasons for my fear,
They'd be able to understand my pain."
- Do you visit italy a lot?
- I, uh...
Haven't been back in nearly two years.
- But you're sure this translation is correct.
- I'm a renaissance scholar. I'm sure.
- Oh, uh, one last question.
Do you know a student here named cody thomas?
- I know of him.
I read about him in the paper.
It's a sad story, that. - How so?
- Well, you know.
He was a good kid, from what I heard.
And he had some sort of a breakdown.
- All right, well, uh,
If we need you to translate anything else--
- I'd be more than happy to help.
Uh, you can reach me at that number.
- Great. Thank you.
- He's hiding something.
Did you see his neck pulse? Bang, bang, bang.
- Well, don't you have a scrupulous eye for detail.
- And he shelves his books alphabetically.
- I didn't notice that.
- And he puts pens in one cup, pencils in another.
- Okay, now you're scaring me.
- Did you see where he put his pen right before we left?
- Was sherlock holmes a big deal at your parents' bookstore?
- Something got marzotto going.
- And you.
- I don't like being lied to.
- I'll remember that.
So, what? Do you want to go back and hit him again?
- No, I want a hard phone line.
- I thought this was a colossal waste of time.
- Not anymore.
- Hey, hold up. Do you always walk so fast?
- Yes, I do. Are you coming?
[phone rings]
- Harris.
- I have an incoming code madrid for minnie harris.
- Reply 6955.
- Hi, minnie. - Hey, hotshot.
Hey, how's the white house?
- You know, it's a lot smaller than it looks on tv.
How are you?
- Well, chad and I are dating.
- Very nice.
- Yes, it is.
- Look, I need some information.
- Okay, shoot.
- Edward marzotto, one "z" two "t"s.
Professor at southern iowa university.
- Turnaround?
- I need it now.
Sorry, I know this is big.
- It's not a problem.
You can hang on and I'll give you the highlights?
- For sure. - Okay, thanks.
Hang on.
- I'm sorry to bother you.
Government agents are asking me
Lots of questions I can't answer
Without getting you and me into a lot of trouble.
It's about the book.
Your boyfriend is quoting from it.
- How's Myka?
- Edgy, irritable.
You know, Myka. Why?
- Just checking.
- Hey, listen, there's something I forgot to mention before.
- What?
- Just before cody got physical,
There was some kind of a--
I don't know, a heat wave.
It just--
It just rolled right off of him.
- This happen after a question?
- No, he was talking about his girlfriend,
Emily krueger.
- You talked to her, right? - No, not yet.
- All right.
I'm gonna check out that heat thing,
And I'm gonna see if that relates to anything.
And meanwhile, what was that translation?
- "if people knew the reasons for my fear,
They would be able to understand my pain."
Hello, Artie?
Hey, do you want me to--
Do you want me to run that again?
- I got it.
Okay, Pete, you're positive that's the translation?
Absolutely positive?
- Yeah, I mean, that's what marzotto said.
- Okay.
I'll call you back.
- Okay.
- Myka? - Yeah.
- Got some good stuff.
Edward melville marzotto.
- Melville? - Yeah, I know.
Anyway, the man loves his italian art.
He just got back from italy eight weeks ago,
And the cops think--
[static]
- Minnie?
- Hey, bunny.
- Whoa, hey. Slow down.
- Walk faster.
- So what'd you find out?
Hey, what happened in there?
Myka, hey, tell me.
- I heard a--
I thought I heard a voice over the phone
That I really should not be hearing.
- Same thing you heard at Leena's.
Well, look, sometimes we-- we hear things
And see things that aren't there.
- What I heard can't be there.
It can't be.
- Well, then it's not.
You know, maybe it's post-traumatic stress.
I read the press release of what went down in denver.
Lives were saved.
- Lives were lost.
- You're a hero.
- You're gonna put me on a psych eval, aren't you?
- Why would I do that?
- Because you need to be able to depend on your partner.
- All right, well,
Then you're just gonna have to depend on me
To know that you're okay.
We're gonna finish this case, and we're gonna get out of here.
We will.
- I don't know if I can.
I don't even know what we're looking for.
- Yes, yes, you do.
I mean, whatever doesn't fit.
You know, something that's out of place.
- Marzotto.
Marzotto lied to us.
He said that the last time he was in italy was, um--
- Two years ago.
- Yeah, my contact told me it was eight weeks ago.
- [chuckling] how 'bout that?
I wonder what else he lied about.
- Well, I guess we need more information.
- Yes, we do.
- Cody's girlfriend.
- Emily krueger.
- I need a picture!
Just give me a picture.
Give me a picture.
Don't make me come down there!
All right.
- I, uh--
I know this is awkward.
And I feel terrible, but...
You can't keep it.
I don't know what I was thinking
Even taking it out of italy,
But it has to go back.
I'm going to rome next week.
And that's coming with me.
What's that for?
[gasps]
[gasping]
[whispering indistinctly]
Three, nine, nine, "d," six, one, one.
Three, nine, nine-- okay.
Three, nine, nine, "d," six, one, one.
[mechanical whirring]
I hate this part.
[groans]
Ow.
- Emily, you're late.
- Sorry.
We were setting up for the party.
Can I help you?
- Emily krueger?
- Yes.
[ethereal music]
♪
- I know your pain, trust me.
Okay.
[sighs]
Oh.
- We saw you leaving professor marzotto's office,
Didn't we?
- Oh, right.
I was there for a meeting.
For the play.
I'm in it.
Marzotto's sort of a technical advisor.
- Does he know about your relationship with cody?
- He knows what happened. Why?
- Huh, because when we talked to him about cody,
He didn't mention you.
- Or that you'd just been to see him.
- Maybe he was trying to protect my privacy.
Why did you guys mention cody?
- Well, we needed something translated.
- Yeah, have you ever heard cody speak italian?
- Just once, when he did this.
- How long have you known cody?
- Since the eighth grade.
Got serious after his parents died.
I came here for theater.
He applied for law school.
His godmother helped him get in.
- Lorna soliday? - You met her?
- Does she have any family?
- Just cody.
And that's not even real family.
She made sure that he got that big settlement
When his parents died.
- se li uomini sapessino--
- Stop.
- Do you know what it means?
"if people knew the reasons for my fear,
They would be able to understand my pain."
Does that mean anything to you?
- Only that he's afraid of abandonment.
It scares him.
Maybe he thought that I was spending too much time
On the play.
I don't know.
Can I go back to work now?
- Yes.
- [muttering in italian]
se li uomini sapessino le cagioni
della paura mia.
se li uomini sapessino le cagioni
della paura mia.
se li uomini sapessino le cagioni...
- Ten to one this has nothing to do
With the hocus pocus Artie's pushing.
- How 'bout a billion to one?
How about a cute girl in a play by machiavelli
Makes her insecure boyfriend freak out?
- Or--or try this.
Emily, an actress, is a ruthless gold digger.
She'd know which buttons to push on her insecure boyfriend
To get him made enough to hit her.
Right? She goes for the money.
Goo-goo-goo! Sues him for it.
[emergency sirens]
- What kind of women do you date?
Pete?
Pete!
- [groaning]
[police radio chatter]
- Oh.
Pete.
- What?
- The attendant said her heard him speaking italian
Before he doused himself.
- Hey! Hey! Hold on.
Why'd you talk to marzotto?
- Who told you that?
- Secret service hits campus, and people notice.
And now he's dead.
And before this, you said something
To make cody thomas want to knock your heads off.
Is there something you want to tell me?
- We should talk about this later.
- All right, let me tell you something--
- Sure.
Tell me something that makes it seem
Like I couldn't kick your ass in front of your men.
- Boys, boys,
Can we put our badges back in our pants, please?
Sheriff.
What was that?
- We got to get to marzotto's office.
- And how are we gonna get in?
Hotshot.
- What the hell is Warehouse 13?
[typing]
- We haven't met.
I'm Mrs. Frederic.
- How'd you get in here?
- Through a door.
- Warehouse 13, is it yours?
- It's mine.
And so are Lattimer and Bering.
- Excuse me?
- Can I ask you something?
- Shoot.
- Never mind.
- The vibe thing?
My dad was a fireman.
When I was 12,
I got this feeling one morning
That I was never gonna see him again.
- And you didn't say anything?
- I didn't want him to see how scared I was.
He died that night in a house fire,
Saving a couple kids.
- I'm sorry.
- Me too.
- So now when you get a feeling...
- Yeah.
He got his pen out of his pencil cup.
- Well, at least he died happy.
- That's not funny.
- You're right.
Well, that's strange.
- What?
- The "m"s are out of order.
- Hey, there's something in there.
- Is this it?
- I don't know.
- Well, what if it is?
- Then we're done.
So open it. - You open it.
I don't want another ferret or whatever.
- [sighs]
se li uomini--
- Don't.
Just in case.
- What's that? - Something's missing.
- Let's call Artie.
- Yeah.
- Miss soliday.
- What are you doing here?
- You heard what happened to marzotto?
- Yes, sheriff travis just called.
Now get out before I call him back
And tell him you're searching this office without a warrant.
- We're here investigating his suicide.
- Ed didn't kill himself.
He had help. - What do you mean?
- Somebody broke his heart.
We were together for three years.
And then we weren't.
I thought we were in love,
But things change,
And he chose someone else.
- A student?
- Did emily krueger break his heart?
- And cody's.
She's a despicable young woman
Who uses people to get what she wants,
And then when she's done using them...
- We're looking for something,
Something about this big.
We think marzotto had it, but now it's missing.
- Did emily get it, you know, whatever it is?
- Why don't you ask her?
She's helping with the party for the play.
Cody's there. - Cody's out?
- Emily dropped the charges.
- Okay, we should go.
- I'm coming with you.
If you're confronting emily,
I need to be there for cody.
- Let's go.
- [panting]
I got to lose weight.
- Miss soliday. - Yes?
- Do you think emily would ever hurt cody?
- Not physically.
Even if she tried, she couldn't.
- And why not?
- Me.
Cody has me.
I made a promise to his parents
When I became his godmother
That I would always be there
To protect him.
It's only a matter of time before cody realizes
Emily's just small-town trash.
Cody is destined for great things,
And I'm helping him succeed.
With me, he can do anything or be anyone he wants.
- Uh, Myka. - Yeah.
- Could you pull over for a sec?
- Yeah.
- sapessino le cagioni--
[screaming]
[machinery beeping, pumping]
- [gasps]
Hey.
- Hi, Myka.
- I know you.
- Well, that's a good sign.
- Where am I?
- Hospital.
In iowa.
Seever city.
- What happened?
- Car accident.
You've been out for two days.
- Pete.
How's Pete?
- Lattimer's still unconscious.
We don't know.
Myka, there's someone here to see you.
Someone who's gonna help you get back to where you belong.
- The president?
- [laughs]
Better.
- Hey, bunny.
- Hey.
- You know you shouldn't be here, right?
- I could say the same thing about you.
- I think you just did.
- [groans]
I'm hurt.
- That didn't stop you in denver.
- I was late.
- No, bunny.
I was early.
I jumped the gun.
- You're dead, sam.
- Hey, bunny, you need to get up now.
You got a lot of things you need to do.
- [gasping]
- Get up.
Bunny.
You have to get up now.
Get up.
- [gasping]
- Myka, get up.
- [gasping, panting]
- Pete!
Pete!
Lattimer!
Pete!
Wake up, buddy. Can you hear me?
Come on.
Here we go.
Okay, all right.
- Ow, ow, ow. Wait, wait, wait.
- What? What? What?
- You're giving me a wedgie.
- What? Okay.
Just--you okay?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Ow.
- Sit here and don't move.
I'm just gonna get the book.
- If you find a badge, it's mine.
Never mind.
I found it.
[groans]
- You okay? - Yeah.
[coughing]
Soliday crashed the car.
- You think?
- Where is she?
- She's not here.
- She had, um...
Some kind of jewelry in her hair,
Like a comb thing.
It looked old,
Like it would fit in the book.
- Pete, you're bleeding.
- I'm fine. - Pete.
- I'm fine. Just--here, answer that.
[Farnsworth ringing]
- Yeah? - You're looking for jewelry.
This, this thing. - Yeah, we know.
We just saw it in a woman's hair.
She tried to kill us.
- A woman? What woman?
- Her name is lorna soliday.
- Part of the ruling class, single, successful.
She's middle-aged.
She's a survivor of family tragedies
And the death of loved ones.
And she's connected somehow to a young man,
A young man that she believes needs her protection?
- He's good, yeah. - Yeah.
- What's the matter with you two?
Are you two all right? Okay, anyway, look.
This comb is transmitting lucretia borgia.
- Lucretia who? - Borgia.
- She's a cutthroat italian who ruled italy
In the 1600s with her father and brothers.
My family owned a book store, remember?
- That's right. That's right.
- So what do you mean the comb's transmitting?
- An alchemist made it, okay?
Out of what, I don't know.
It's supposed to be some kind of renaissance roofie.
Somehow the crystals in the ionized metal in this thing
Are affecting brain chemistry.
- What about the phrase? - Yeah, the phrase.
Okay, that--that's like some kind of phonetic trigger.
This is a very, very, very unhappy woman.
Very unlucky in love.
There's supposed to be a jewelry box.
- We found it in marzotto's office.
He must have given soliday the comb.
- Like her, she wants love
At any cost.
She wants love,
And she is gonna kill to get it.
- Okay, she wants-- she wants cody,
So she wants emily gone.
- And emily's at the party.
- What are you talking about a party?
Party? What party?
- Oh, god.
Some renaissance blowout
For some machiavelli play.
- Machia--
This woman's gonna be there?
- Yes.
- You've got to stop this woman.
Lucretia borgia, 600 years ago,
Started a bloody reign of terror,
And this comb is gonna want to start it all over again.
It's got twisted desires,
And it'll amplify, it'll spread
Like some kind of orgiastic virus.
First to iowa, then to nebraska,
Then to illinois.
- We understand.
- Probably first to illinois and then--
- Okay, look, we need to get you to a hospital first and--
- No, no, no, no. - Pete!
- No, look, I'm trained to take a bullet
If necessary.
But...
I'm not sure how to stop
A dead italian cougar.
[rock music]
♪
[overlapping chatter]
- se li uomini sapessino le cagioni
della paura mia.
se li uomini sapessino le cagioni
della paura mia.
Soliday and cody: Se li uomini sapessino
le cagioni della paura mia.
- We need some kind of approach.
- Well, I have no more color-coded plans.
- There's a silver lining.
- Okay, I'll go in, grab cody.
You flank. - No, you flank.
Trust me.
- Okay.
- All right.
Okay, that's not creepy.
[clears throat]
How you doing?
Ooh, that's nice.
Cody.
Come on, man, you don't want to do this.
Okay?
Look.
Hey, hey.
Okay, you don't want to hurt her.
Okay, just let emily go.
- Oh, he intends to.
Her dying scream will be the trigger--
- Hey, hey, hey.
Look, nobody's screaming, okay?
We're gonna take a deep breath,
And we're all gonna come back down to earth.
Cute.
- Cody.
- Kid's fast.
What's your pain, lorna?
What are you afraid of?
- You know.
And so does she.
- Show's over.
Drop the comb...Thing.
- Did you really let your lover die?
- Myka.
- Shut up.
- For a chance at glory?
- I said shut up.
- Don't look at it, Myka.
Myka!
- se li uomini sapessino le cagioni
della paura mia, capir potrebbero
il mio dolor.
se li uomini sapessino le cagioni
della paura mia, capir potrebbero
il mio dolor.
[Tesla powers down]
[all chanting]
[gun clicks]
- Yeah, sorry.
No one's dying here tonight.
- But you might lose a tooth.
Pete.
[energy pulsating]
- Duck and cover?
[gun falls to the stage]
[indistinct whispering]
- What did I do? - It's okay.
It's over.
- It's gonna be okay.
- [sighs]
Love hurts, I know.
- So here's the deal. You got a choice.
You can come back to d.C.
Or you can stay with the new assignment.
- What's the catch? - I only get you.
Lattimer has to stay there.
- And if I stay, what happens to Pete?
- He still stays.
- How long do I have to think about it?
- About five more seconds.
- Four, three, two.
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